Can't really talk. I have so much stuff that I need to get done!
- Need a job...fast!
- Need to get ready for my TFA interview on Thursday...FAST
- Need to study for my Neurobiology of Aging Test on Friday...kinda FAST
- Need to study for my Indian Religions Test...Tomorrow...REALLY FAST
- Need to get off of Blogger...RIGHT NOW!
Love you guys....
Monday, February 9, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Day IV (and a little note about my religious views)
Pan is a really smart friend. But then she's been through it all. And she's already stood where I'm standing right now. As Pan warned. "As long as everything is OK in the end, I support you."
So what happened yesterday and today? Well yesterday we went to celebrate Winny's birthday at a restaurant in the Waterfront. Over dinner where we discussed a lot of things, I realized something I need to do before I leave for Tampa.
I need to gain weight. People are more meaty there, and you know what they say. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. So by the time I arrive in Tampa (when will that be exactly? Who knows...sometime before July, maybe?), I need to be...more than I weigh now. LOL.
Which means? More protein. I've been recommended to start eating meat (as in ALL animals) for the next couple of months before I arrive there. Should I do it? I'm not sure. But if i want to get started on this magical diet, I'd better get started soon.
Afterwards, we went to Gautam's party. Pan and I promised to do something for Gautam that is horribly embarrassing and funny. I won't say what it is on here...but for those who have dirty minds, censor yourselves (as Esha would say ZZZZZZTTTT!!!). We didn't do anything that bad. We just entertained Gautam with a little comedy.
And afterward? Blow pop.
This morning, I got up at 11 and was lying in bed pretty much all day. But then I attempted to come study at the Cathedral. But let's be honest. I actually came up here to get Szechuan food. Less than $5.00. Enough food to last two days. Enough grease to push the average starving Somalian into Obesity. Blech... but oh so good.
OK here's something that I've been meaning to discuss recently:
My religion.
I was actually talking to someone recently and they started asking me what my religious views are, and I mentioned I was slightly agnostic. At that point, Pan said that she thought I was religious. I found that funny...because I had always thought of people like those hardcore no-doubt priests as being religious. But It seems that EVERYONE is under the impression that I'm very religious. Everyone. Why? Because I do prayers. But let's consider the actual situation.
My parents raised me to be a Hindu. Neither of my parents were very religious before my birth. However, due to the crazy complications and what they consider to be a "miracle" surrounding my survival and recovery, they became very religious.
Was I religious? Yes. Until the age of 9, I had no doubt in my mind that there was a God and that everything fit into some master plan. At the age of 9, though, an event occurred that made me change my mind. Prayers needn't be answered. There is no way that you could convince me that at 9 that I hadn't prayed enough, that I hadn't believed enough. Because on Aug. 20th, 1995 I had really no doubt in my mind that if I kept repeating my prayer that everything would be all right. But by the end of the morning, I knew that that wasn't so. Leaving what?
M. Night Shyamalam's words in Signs (although a horrid movie due to a really pathetic ending) were very wise. In moments of strife, the world is split into two groups. One that sees signs and hope and sees everything as being OK in the end. The belief that we are not alone. And the other group that doesn't know. The group that doubts. The group that feels that we may be alone in the end. Of course there's a third group that consists of people who KNOW that we're alone and who seem to not care much about that. But I think vast majority of people, when in a situation where they want to piss their pants and cry for their teddy bear, aren't cocky enough to say they're in the last group, but fall into the first two groups.
I am a doubter. For me, however much I believe, I can't justify the countless rapes, murders, and crimes that occur throughout the world. The destruction of cultures, and societies. When I was in Uruguay several years ago, I saw a statue commemorating the last of the Chirrhuas, the original inhabitants of Uruguay. They were massacred and only five of them remained standing after the killings. And these five were sold to a circus in Paris. What was the point of this? I can't imagine that somehow this, and everything crazy like this, fits into some grand plan of God's. Even when I dare believe that something good happens for a reason, I can't help but wonder why something fortunate should happen to me, when thousands of young children cry for a tiny miracle to live one more day to only have their prayers disregarded.
So what do I put my trust in? I put my trust in my rituals. My parents ingrained in my head that I should say certain prayers and recite certain things to live a good life and to be blessed. Whatever my feelings for God or a divine spirit may be, I know I love my parents, and I love the people who have done good for me in my life. And if it brings some joy to my father and the spirit of my Mother by doing prayers, then I'm willing to do that.
And it's comforting. It's like my lucky charm. Some people wear a pair of striped socks. Other's tie their shoelaces a certain way. I...say prayers. And maybe that helps. Maybe it doesn't. But I know that when I do it, it relaxes me. It's my little comfort zone. When everything is messed up in your life, and you don't know what to do, at least I know that I have something that doesn't change. I might not know sometimes what tomorrow may bring, but when i recite a prayer, I know exactly what each stanza brings.
Last reason to pray? Because I believe in me. I believe in my power to influence my destiny. And I believe that there is something in me, something that's more than just what physically exists. Something that motivates me and drives me. A soul? Maybe not. Maybe just my ability to do higher level thinking.
Perhaps prayer helps center me and gets me in touch with who I really am. A meditation of sorts. Perhaps it helps me use my intelligence and energy more efficiently? Whatever it may be, if you asked my parents the following question we would have different answer.
"Is there proof in the world of God?"
Dad: Yes. God must exist.
Me: I don't know.
And I apologize for those who do not doubt at all. Who are reassured by their faith. I'm glad you feel that strength. More power to you. But to me, I stand in the dark on this subject. I just do not know.
So what happened yesterday and today? Well yesterday we went to celebrate Winny's birthday at a restaurant in the Waterfront. Over dinner where we discussed a lot of things, I realized something I need to do before I leave for Tampa.
I need to gain weight. People are more meaty there, and you know what they say. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. So by the time I arrive in Tampa (when will that be exactly? Who knows...sometime before July, maybe?), I need to be...more than I weigh now. LOL.
Which means? More protein. I've been recommended to start eating meat (as in ALL animals) for the next couple of months before I arrive there. Should I do it? I'm not sure. But if i want to get started on this magical diet, I'd better get started soon.
Afterwards, we went to Gautam's party. Pan and I promised to do something for Gautam that is horribly embarrassing and funny. I won't say what it is on here...but for those who have dirty minds, censor yourselves (as Esha would say ZZZZZZTTTT!!!). We didn't do anything that bad. We just entertained Gautam with a little comedy.
And afterward? Blow pop.
This morning, I got up at 11 and was lying in bed pretty much all day. But then I attempted to come study at the Cathedral. But let's be honest. I actually came up here to get Szechuan food. Less than $5.00. Enough food to last two days. Enough grease to push the average starving Somalian into Obesity. Blech... but oh so good.
OK here's something that I've been meaning to discuss recently:
My religion.
I was actually talking to someone recently and they started asking me what my religious views are, and I mentioned I was slightly agnostic. At that point, Pan said that she thought I was religious. I found that funny...because I had always thought of people like those hardcore no-doubt priests as being religious. But It seems that EVERYONE is under the impression that I'm very religious. Everyone. Why? Because I do prayers. But let's consider the actual situation.
My parents raised me to be a Hindu. Neither of my parents were very religious before my birth. However, due to the crazy complications and what they consider to be a "miracle" surrounding my survival and recovery, they became very religious.
Was I religious? Yes. Until the age of 9, I had no doubt in my mind that there was a God and that everything fit into some master plan. At the age of 9, though, an event occurred that made me change my mind. Prayers needn't be answered. There is no way that you could convince me that at 9 that I hadn't prayed enough, that I hadn't believed enough. Because on Aug. 20th, 1995 I had really no doubt in my mind that if I kept repeating my prayer that everything would be all right. But by the end of the morning, I knew that that wasn't so. Leaving what?
M. Night Shyamalam's words in Signs (although a horrid movie due to a really pathetic ending) were very wise. In moments of strife, the world is split into two groups. One that sees signs and hope and sees everything as being OK in the end. The belief that we are not alone. And the other group that doesn't know. The group that doubts. The group that feels that we may be alone in the end. Of course there's a third group that consists of people who KNOW that we're alone and who seem to not care much about that. But I think vast majority of people, when in a situation where they want to piss their pants and cry for their teddy bear, aren't cocky enough to say they're in the last group, but fall into the first two groups.
I am a doubter. For me, however much I believe, I can't justify the countless rapes, murders, and crimes that occur throughout the world. The destruction of cultures, and societies. When I was in Uruguay several years ago, I saw a statue commemorating the last of the Chirrhuas, the original inhabitants of Uruguay. They were massacred and only five of them remained standing after the killings. And these five were sold to a circus in Paris. What was the point of this? I can't imagine that somehow this, and everything crazy like this, fits into some grand plan of God's. Even when I dare believe that something good happens for a reason, I can't help but wonder why something fortunate should happen to me, when thousands of young children cry for a tiny miracle to live one more day to only have their prayers disregarded.
So what do I put my trust in? I put my trust in my rituals. My parents ingrained in my head that I should say certain prayers and recite certain things to live a good life and to be blessed. Whatever my feelings for God or a divine spirit may be, I know I love my parents, and I love the people who have done good for me in my life. And if it brings some joy to my father and the spirit of my Mother by doing prayers, then I'm willing to do that.
And it's comforting. It's like my lucky charm. Some people wear a pair of striped socks. Other's tie their shoelaces a certain way. I...say prayers. And maybe that helps. Maybe it doesn't. But I know that when I do it, it relaxes me. It's my little comfort zone. When everything is messed up in your life, and you don't know what to do, at least I know that I have something that doesn't change. I might not know sometimes what tomorrow may bring, but when i recite a prayer, I know exactly what each stanza brings.
Last reason to pray? Because I believe in me. I believe in my power to influence my destiny. And I believe that there is something in me, something that's more than just what physically exists. Something that motivates me and drives me. A soul? Maybe not. Maybe just my ability to do higher level thinking.
Perhaps prayer helps center me and gets me in touch with who I really am. A meditation of sorts. Perhaps it helps me use my intelligence and energy more efficiently? Whatever it may be, if you asked my parents the following question we would have different answer.
"Is there proof in the world of God?"
Dad: Yes. God must exist.
Me: I don't know.
And I apologize for those who do not doubt at all. Who are reassured by their faith. I'm glad you feel that strength. More power to you. But to me, I stand in the dark on this subject. I just do not know.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Day 3
Gross. Sick. These are the exact thoughts that went through my head this morning as I woke up. I haven't been this ill in so long. But I guess it has to happen to the best of us...and better on the weekend, then during the week...esp. on a Finals or Midterms week...It's funny, I really wanted to be healthy this weekend so I had drank so much Orange Juice and had so much fruits to rack up a lot of antioxidants into my system to keep me well. Guess that didn't work.
So Game Night? First, it began with a game of Kings. A drinking game. Needless to say I didn't partake in the game since I was hiked up on Tylenol at that point. But it was an enjoyable game to watch. It was hilarious that Pan couldn't think of any other fish type then....Nemo. Oh wow, my friends are so special...in the Ass (you wouldn't get it unless you were there)
Following this was a short half game of Cranium. You see, Pan had already progressed past the point of buzzed at this point and was slurring every time she had to read a card...so we had to close off the game.
Of course, by this time the Birthday team: Gautam and Winny had progressed to the third Brain. While most of us were still lurking on the first quarter of the board. And Dung, who did a great humming job for "Billie Jean" was unable to get his teammates to figure out what the song was. We were all cracking up.
The funniest thing was that we all failed at trying to get our teammates to guess Jacques Cousteau in a group Cranium mime...Pan's fishing attempts were quite admirable.
Afterwards, I went to 5801 and met up with Jose and Ed. Ed and I came back and attempted to watch Pan's Labyrinth. However, by 4 am there isn't much you can do other than pass out...But it was still a good time. :) Totally worth it. I might have lost my voice because Ed and I tried (yes I said tried) to sing Bohemian Rhapsody on the way back.
Ed was talking about how impressive some child artists are. I had to show him the Rumpelstiltskin book at that time. Haha...I guess I've kinda become one of those child artists who tries to live on former glory. Except I wasn't really ever even famous at any point.
So Game Night? First, it began with a game of Kings. A drinking game. Needless to say I didn't partake in the game since I was hiked up on Tylenol at that point. But it was an enjoyable game to watch. It was hilarious that Pan couldn't think of any other fish type then....Nemo. Oh wow, my friends are so special...in the Ass (you wouldn't get it unless you were there)
Following this was a short half game of Cranium. You see, Pan had already progressed past the point of buzzed at this point and was slurring every time she had to read a card...so we had to close off the game.
Of course, by this time the Birthday team: Gautam and Winny had progressed to the third Brain. While most of us were still lurking on the first quarter of the board. And Dung, who did a great humming job for "Billie Jean" was unable to get his teammates to figure out what the song was. We were all cracking up.
The funniest thing was that we all failed at trying to get our teammates to guess Jacques Cousteau in a group Cranium mime...Pan's fishing attempts were quite admirable.
Afterwards, I went to 5801 and met up with Jose and Ed. Ed and I came back and attempted to watch Pan's Labyrinth. However, by 4 am there isn't much you can do other than pass out...But it was still a good time. :) Totally worth it. I might have lost my voice because Ed and I tried (yes I said tried) to sing Bohemian Rhapsody on the way back.
Ed was talking about how impressive some child artists are. I had to show him the Rumpelstiltskin book at that time. Haha...I guess I've kinda become one of those child artists who tries to live on former glory. Except I wasn't really ever even famous at any point.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Day 2
So let me update you on the last 24 hours...which have been basically ridiculous. Last night, my friend Chelsea and I had a combined bday party.
Story time: Chelsea's name is pronounced like Chel-SAW...not Chel-SEE. Ranjan, her boyfriend, however, insists that it's pronounced like Chel-SEE so I got very confused on what I should call her. So tradition goes that I called her mother while really drunk and left a message asking her to call me back and tell me how Chelsea's name is pronounced and why the hell she would do that to her kid. Her mom, although deeply amused, has yet to call me. So everytime we drink together, I call her mom. One of the best times was when I called and left the whole message in Tamil. Her mom cracked up at that. BUT she still has yet to call me. Haha...at least it allows us to continue this tradition.
Chelsea and I went to the Melting Pot which is a fondu place down in station square. It was AMAZING
A course of cheese fondu, with three different types of cheeses with bread, chips, apples, etc.
A course of meats (fish, chicken, shrimp, and a lot of stuff that I couldn't eat) in various styles brought out raw, but you were given pots of boiling water with various herbs in it for cooking
A course of chocolate fondu with cakes, chocolates, fudge, and fruits...
It was soooo good...and so worth the price of 24 dollars. Made me happy!
And last night afterwards, I got terribly drunk. And tried finding people's (guys not girls) nipples from over their shirt. And supposedly that's a talent I have.
At some point I picked up some snow and told people that there wasn't going to be any of this where I go next year....haha...
And something was bothering me all yesterday. My nose was stuffy and runny. And I was confused. Was this allergies? Was this a weird form of hangover?
No...it was a cold. Obviously since it's been so long since I've gotten a cold...I didn't even recognize what it was. Kinda weird huh? I was seriously thinking that it was a weird effect of a hangover or something...I'm a mess.
So what's tonight? Game night. I'm really excited, but I should take a nap before I go. :)
I'm in a great mood as the weekend begins. :)
Story time: Chelsea's name is pronounced like Chel-SAW...not Chel-SEE. Ranjan, her boyfriend, however, insists that it's pronounced like Chel-SEE so I got very confused on what I should call her. So tradition goes that I called her mother while really drunk and left a message asking her to call me back and tell me how Chelsea's name is pronounced and why the hell she would do that to her kid. Her mom, although deeply amused, has yet to call me. So everytime we drink together, I call her mom. One of the best times was when I called and left the whole message in Tamil. Her mom cracked up at that. BUT she still has yet to call me. Haha...at least it allows us to continue this tradition.
Chelsea and I went to the Melting Pot which is a fondu place down in station square. It was AMAZING
A course of cheese fondu, with three different types of cheeses with bread, chips, apples, etc.
A course of meats (fish, chicken, shrimp, and a lot of stuff that I couldn't eat) in various styles brought out raw, but you were given pots of boiling water with various herbs in it for cooking
A course of chocolate fondu with cakes, chocolates, fudge, and fruits...
It was soooo good...and so worth the price of 24 dollars. Made me happy!
And last night afterwards, I got terribly drunk. And tried finding people's (guys not girls) nipples from over their shirt. And supposedly that's a talent I have.
At some point I picked up some snow and told people that there wasn't going to be any of this where I go next year....haha...
And something was bothering me all yesterday. My nose was stuffy and runny. And I was confused. Was this allergies? Was this a weird form of hangover?
No...it was a cold. Obviously since it's been so long since I've gotten a cold...I didn't even recognize what it was. Kinda weird huh? I was seriously thinking that it was a weird effect of a hangover or something...I'm a mess.
So what's tonight? Game night. I'm really excited, but I should take a nap before I go. :)
I'm in a great mood as the weekend begins. :)
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Day 1
I guess to all those who were following my blog from this summer, here is another opportunity to hear about my life. This time, I guess, I'll be able to update a lot more freely since I'll have a computer all the time and I won't have to depend on lunch breaks from work.
The purpose of this blog is the same as the last one. I could be honest on what the REAL reason for me starting the blog last summer was...but the funny thing is that I'm starting this blog for the same reason. I'm embarrassed by the reason that I decided to start that blog this past summer...and considering how history tends to repeat itself, I'll probably be embarrassed for starting this blog.
But here's the official documented reason for starting this blog. I, Hari , came to a grand decision about two weeks ago. I, Hari Venkatachalam, will be leaving Pennsylvania in the next couple of months. For good. I mean, kinda for good, I may come back for Dental school and such, but right now I'm more concerned about what's happening this coming fall...not as far into the future as Professional school and such.
This blog will, like always, be the summation of my feelings. My place to vent. My place to speak my mind. Maybe a place where I will recapture a little of the peace of mind that I lost. Whoops. There I go...I let the real reason for starting the blog slip. Damn...
This past week was confusing and I'm still recovering from the weekend (not to mention the screaming my throat out after the Steelers won the Superbowl...SIX-BURGH!!!), and the series of tests that I think I bombed this past week.
But now, at least, things have cooled down a bit...
I hate this season. From now until April, my life always sucks. The whole post-Birthday cheer, post-Christmas/New Year's celebration compounded upon the fact that the weather always sucks (and for some reason, even though I've lived in Pennsylvania most of my life, I seem to never be dressed properly for Winter weather) makes this season pretty depressing. I guess it makes sense that the season of Lent should be now. When you're depressed, you might as well give up something else you enjoy doing, eating any form of meat, and just mope around the house.
By the way, I am starving. Really starving...but I can't eat, because I'm waiting to get my wallet from where I left it last night...sigh...I am pathetic. And I'm such a mess...why the hell can I never remember to take stuff with me?
And depressed. I gave a short five minute presentation on Hinduism and the Environment today. I could have been talking about how Baked Beans will bring about World Peace, because I really didn't have the heart to talk about it.
Of course, the reasoning for all this might be the slight hangover from last night. Yes...my one or two beers for the sake of unwinding after a rough couple of weeks ended up me drinking nearly seven beers (all yuenglings mind you) and doing a little "wish fulfillment". You're right Pan. It does feel like cheating even though it isn't.
And Winny's leaving. Maybe that's why I decided to leave Pittsburgh this year...Everyone's gone or going to be gone soon. Shreya, Dorothy, Esha, All my roommates from last year, Everyone...is gone. Joe will be leaving at the end of this year...and soon, Pittsburgh will just be a memory. I can't stand the thought of being left behind, so I always try to be the one that is leaving others. I did the same thing in High School...although that was a bit comical of a situation. I thought everyone would be getting out of town, so I didn't want to be left behind. In the end, everyone stayed...and I moved to...the bottomless Pitt. Haha...
So why didn't I apply to schools in Warmer cities? Well It's a pointless thing to be wondering during my Fifth year of college, but maybe I should have. UCLA might have been fun. Arizona State could have been awesome. Eh...damn wishful thinking.
So where am I going next year? Most of you know. And unless you hate my guts, you probably don't want to think about me leaving. So I won't talk about it. Or how excited I am by the thought of it. But believe me this is healthy. I need a fresh start. I'm really in need of a fresh start. People say you can't run away from your past. I say "Maybe...but you can't blame me for trying".
The purpose of this blog is the same as the last one. I could be honest on what the REAL reason for me starting the blog last summer was...but the funny thing is that I'm starting this blog for the same reason. I'm embarrassed by the reason that I decided to start that blog this past summer...and considering how history tends to repeat itself, I'll probably be embarrassed for starting this blog.
But here's the official documented reason for starting this blog. I, Hari , came to a grand decision about two weeks ago. I, Hari Venkatachalam, will be leaving Pennsylvania in the next couple of months. For good. I mean, kinda for good, I may come back for Dental school and such, but right now I'm more concerned about what's happening this coming fall...not as far into the future as Professional school and such.
This blog will, like always, be the summation of my feelings. My place to vent. My place to speak my mind. Maybe a place where I will recapture a little of the peace of mind that I lost. Whoops. There I go...I let the real reason for starting the blog slip. Damn...
This past week was confusing and I'm still recovering from the weekend (not to mention the screaming my throat out after the Steelers won the Superbowl...SIX-BURGH!!!), and the series of tests that I think I bombed this past week.
But now, at least, things have cooled down a bit...
I hate this season. From now until April, my life always sucks. The whole post-Birthday cheer, post-Christmas/New Year's celebration compounded upon the fact that the weather always sucks (and for some reason, even though I've lived in Pennsylvania most of my life, I seem to never be dressed properly for Winter weather) makes this season pretty depressing. I guess it makes sense that the season of Lent should be now. When you're depressed, you might as well give up something else you enjoy doing, eating any form of meat, and just mope around the house.
By the way, I am starving. Really starving...but I can't eat, because I'm waiting to get my wallet from where I left it last night...sigh...I am pathetic. And I'm such a mess...why the hell can I never remember to take stuff with me?
And depressed. I gave a short five minute presentation on Hinduism and the Environment today. I could have been talking about how Baked Beans will bring about World Peace, because I really didn't have the heart to talk about it.
Of course, the reasoning for all this might be the slight hangover from last night. Yes...my one or two beers for the sake of unwinding after a rough couple of weeks ended up me drinking nearly seven beers (all yuenglings mind you) and doing a little "wish fulfillment". You're right Pan. It does feel like cheating even though it isn't.
And Winny's leaving. Maybe that's why I decided to leave Pittsburgh this year...Everyone's gone or going to be gone soon. Shreya, Dorothy, Esha, All my roommates from last year, Everyone...is gone. Joe will be leaving at the end of this year...and soon, Pittsburgh will just be a memory. I can't stand the thought of being left behind, so I always try to be the one that is leaving others. I did the same thing in High School...although that was a bit comical of a situation. I thought everyone would be getting out of town, so I didn't want to be left behind. In the end, everyone stayed...and I moved to...the bottomless Pitt. Haha...
So why didn't I apply to schools in Warmer cities? Well It's a pointless thing to be wondering during my Fifth year of college, but maybe I should have. UCLA might have been fun. Arizona State could have been awesome. Eh...damn wishful thinking.
So where am I going next year? Most of you know. And unless you hate my guts, you probably don't want to think about me leaving. So I won't talk about it. Or how excited I am by the thought of it. But believe me this is healthy. I need a fresh start. I'm really in need of a fresh start. People say you can't run away from your past. I say "Maybe...but you can't blame me for trying".
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