Day XXVII (cont.)

Oh need to mention another failure of mine.

Event 3: Blessed holy milk...err yogurt?

So today, for my Temple, Icon, and Deity in India class, we had group presentation. Our presentation was on various rituals in Hinduism. And I did my presentation on Pujas and Abhishekams.

What are abhishekams? Well sit down kiddies and let me tell you!

In Hindu temples, often people ritually bathe the main icon with juice, yogurt, honey, milk, and other substances. It's meant to purify the icon. And we thought this would be great if we could imitate this ritual in class.

I brought my statue of Krishna and a bottle of milk. It was only going to be an hour or two until class so I didn't think much of it. I drank most of it, and left some for the Abhishekam.

So there I am about to start reciting the prayers and am explaining that Hindus do milk Abhishekam and other things.

Quote

Me: So often Hindus will do milk...

(Partner begins to pour the bottle.. small chunks start flowing out)

...Me: or yogurt...

(My partner is horrified as the milk gets more chunky and a last couple gray clumps tumble out)

Me:...errrrrr....or cheese...

CLASS PRESENTATION: EPIC FAIL!
sigh...

Day XXVII

So I haven't done a post in awhile. Considering the fact that it's the day before an exam, and you all know how much I love procrastination, I decided it would be a great time to put up a post.

Plus so many exciting things have happened in the past few weeks, that you will LOVE to hear about.

EVENT 1: The tale of the unsuccessful drunk flirt.

This happened last Friday night. Those of you who have spoken to me know how excited I've been for this past weekend because Craig was going to be in town.

Digression -> Craig, Carrie, and I are friends who went to a Drama camp back in State College some time during high school. Although the camp was full of great people, I only really kept in touch with the two of them. Although we all went to different high schools, and Craig was from the NoVa-DC area, we all stayed decently good friends. And for some inexplicable reason, we all ended up in Pittsburgh to go to college. Weird, huh? We have crazy stories like how drunk we were and how frightened I was when we all went to Pegasus years ago. Sigh...good ol' times.

But I digress...

Anyway, Craig was in town and we all went down to Joe Mama's to have a couple drinks. Good times, until some guy came up to me. Although the establishment was a straight bar, it seemed that there were a lot of gay people that night since Point Park University kinda took over the place.

So I'm trying to pay attention to the Penguins game on the screen. It was a replay, but still I had missed some of the best moments of the game so I wanted to catch it. At that point a very drunk guy came over to me. Here is a description of the conversation:

Him: Hi! (bright, cheerful, kinda drooling a bit)
Me: Hey...(distracted, not in the mood)

He sits down next to me, even though I didn't really offer the seat. But hey it's a free country. What do I care? Just don't throw up on me.

Him: So...you go to school around here?

I was thinking, "What the hell?" I obviously do not seem interested. And I'm wearing an f-ing Pitt sweatshirt...and watching the Penguins game intently. What...am I from LA?

Me: No. I'm in town for the night.

I say it with enough sarcasm that he realizes (or should have realized) that I'm a) lying and b) not interested. Cue: Exit stage left. As Pink would say it "Keep your drink, just give me the money. It's just you and your hand tonight".

He however, feels that this is cue for more friendly interactions. He leans a little closer.

Him: So...do you...ya' know. Like...guys?

Boy. I don't know if that's ballsy or really stupid. In some towns in South Carolina he could get into a fight for this. In some towns in Saudi Arabia, he could have his head chopped of. If he was from my town, my father would have burst in out of nowhere and been like "MY SON??? NO HE IS NOT OF THE GAY!"

I glanced around me at the forty other guys who were in various stages of stripping, dancing, or making out with other men while a dozen other females/lesbians marinated in the homosexuality from the atmosphere. I glanced back at him with raised eyebrows?

Me: Who me? No. I'm only into girls. Sorry, Honey! Have a fabulous day!

Ok So I didn't really tell him to have a fabulous day. Or call him honey. But I did tell him I liked girls. I tried to be serious this time. In my head however, a drag queen popped out with the Chippendale dancers in the background singing "It's raining men. Hallelujah!"

Him: Haha...wait so are you seeing someone?

Me: Yes. I have a boyfriend. New guy. Very cute. Buff.

Yes I know. Yet another lie. And it contradicts another lie. That's the problem with lying. I suck at it. Within ten seconds of one, I'm going to contradict myself. Something like along the lines of "I loved going to college in India...University of Pittsburgh is the best school ever!"
If I was really going to be serious about this new lie, I should have told him that my new non-existant boyfriend could tear you a new one but I didn't feel like extending my conversation with him anymore.

Him: Haha...yeah aren't they all?

He obviously didn't believe me. Which is to be expected since I suck at lying. But why the hell won't he leave me alone.

Him: So wanna get dinner or something sometime?

What the hell was going on? How do guys not get the hint around me? Like why would I shut you down for every single question, if I was interested? That's not cute! That's not fricking endearing! That's you being an idiot. God.

Me: Sure!

Him: Really?

Oh. So you start questioning my answers now?

Me: My god. I thought you were just taking the opposite of everything I said.

I was aggravated beyond belief and went back to talking to Craig. The guy was laughing and went back to his friends and kept on pointing to me every couple of minutes. What the hell.

Aesop's fable Lesson: He who drinketh a lot, getteth not the sarcasm. And fucking getteth not when he's being turned down.

Event 2: How much of an Ass can I make myself in front of my friend's "gulp"?

So my friend brought his female friend over on Friday. We were all supposed to go watch Slum Dog Millionaire, but at the last minute I decided against it. It could be because I didn't want to actually get up and travel that far into squirrel hill. Or maybe I didn't want to play third wheel with my friend's errrr....

So finally though we all decided to go to Joe Mama's together. So while we're traveling on the bus, my friend starts teasing his ______. At that point, she turns to me and says "See what I have to put up with." And I said "Don't worry, we'll gang up on him by the end of the night." We high-five each other.

And then I opened my god-forsaken mouth.

"You know it's tradition in our house, whenever someone bring their boyfriend or girlfriend..."

I freeze. I not only freeze. But my eyes get all wide. Like deer in the headlights wide. Like "Princess-Jasmine, this-would-be-cute-if-I-was-on-a-magic-carpet" wide.
Like Analogy

Wide: My eyes :: Long: John Kerry's Chin.

Get the point?

My friend turns his head to the right. The unnamed relationship female stares straight ahead. And I? I have a million thoughts running through my head.

"Fuck Hari! They're not dating yet! You made it awkward! Just finish your statement and move on!!!!"

But what was I talking about? Hell if I could tell you. There were several thousand monkeys in my head throwing bananas at typewriters, and expecting eloquent poetry to come out. And I was taking my cue from them.

"Mftsq? DRRRRRRRR" I whispered under my breath.

I prayed for something crazy to happen outside, like a lightning storm or for a naked man to run out onto the sidewalk. I NEEDED a distraction. We all know how my prayers are at being answered. I don't know exactly how the situation resolved itself, but I remember saying something that was about as witty as "I like buses".

The evening only progressed to a further state of awkwardness when Craig came up to the table and asked my friend and his (ahem) how long they had been dating. Awkward looks.

At least they're dating now. Saves me from future episodes. And god know, that I would make another episode.

Okkkk...I'm going to go study. But more events tmrw!

Day XVIII

OK, so I know I didn't post at all this week. Which is kind of amusing. Because this was the first week, in three or four weeks that I didn't have any tests, projects, or anything due. And I didn't really have much of a social life either.

So what's new in my life? Well I realized that last friday on Valentine's day, my Girls wanted to take me out to dinner but then failed because I went to Vikram's spaghetti dinner fundraiser. LOL. I love those girls. Diksha, Savita, Ishani, Kunj...only those four can get away with calling me Hara-Phaaji.

I'm really hungry right now. I promise I'll write more later?

Hari

Day XI

Well, let's get you caught up on the rest of the weekend. As you can guess, it was unproductive, as usual. This morning, Winny left (for real this time), for New York City. It was bittersweet. Of course, there is no reason to really feel to depressed that she's leaving, since the whole lot of us is going to be outta here when we graduate. Sad thing about Pittsburgh. Nobody stays after they graduate.

So we went to Garage Door and Hemingways to celebrate her last night. I saw Richard! Richard my little! For those who don't know, Richard is my Little, and I'm his Big. When he joined Glee Club, we bonded and formed a "frat type" friendship. The funny part of it is that he's 6 foot a million, and I'm...well if you're reading this, you know about my body frame. I remember running into him in the library right before Finals were done. He just picked me up and tossed me around for 20 secs. He's a great kid.

And then we went to Hemingways. I saw Jason Sanders for the first time in ages. We discussed leaving Pittsburgh soon. Me? For Tampa. But HIM...for Korea. Makes me feel a little more ease about this move. But at least we're both here for awhile...so maybe we'll run into each other a couple more times. It's crazy. I used to see Sanders EVERY WEEKEND as a freshman and now we see each other once every two months.

And then Winny left because she didn't want to get sucked into staying yet another day. Jose texted me, so we went to 5801 (what is that...the third time in a week?...I'm turning into Jose...) Joe originally was going to take a bus home, but then decided to come with us to the gay bar. As he put it:

Joe: There's no atheists in foxholes. I guess there's no straight guys when it's cold outside.

That can be taken in many different ways...

But Joe was just full of excellent quotes last night. We were watching a music video with Madonna and he said that she was more machine than human now...

And I was amused. Taking Joe to a gay bar for the first time, I expected him to be overwhelmed by the gay men. Actually, he took that in stride. He ended up being scared of a woman actually. I need to introduce him to more lesbians. LOL.

This morning, we went to go see Shreya for her Birthday. I've been avoiding mentioning the trip on my blog or my aim away message. That's because the visit was supposed to be a surprise. But we EPIC failed at this. How? Shreya's mom and Rashed had been talking to each other making plans...via text messages.

Shreya's mom were talking this morning and her mom was telling Shreya that Shreya never calls her. The convo must have gone something like this:

Shreya's Mom: You don't ever call. See look at my recent phone calls!
Shreya: (looking down) Wait. Why do you have like 15 txt messages to Rashed?

Fail Blog Post 153802: Surprise Fail!

So since the surprise was up, there was no need for Shreya's mom to take us out to eat...so we just ate at her house. Shreya's mom makes the best food ever. We tore that up. And then we played Caracasse (sp?) or something for an hour. And then we made a trip to watch Frost/Nixon. For a history buff like me, the experience was orgasmic. It's funny, I know what was going to happen and yet i was on the edge of my seat. Kinda like when you watch Titanic. You know the ship is going to hit the iceberg, but you still get freaked out when the ship is trying to avoid it.

And on the way back, I realized more than ever...that in six months, when I see the tunnels and the Pittsburgh skyline loam ahead, I want it to be because I'm back for a visit...not because I'm trapped here.

Day X

Day X and I haven't updated people in awhile, so here goes.

This week was rough. And I mean ROUGH. I had my TeachForAmerica Interview this week. And this whole application process has been such a mess. Losing my cell phone before my phone interview, having my computer freeze before I turn in my application. And then on the day of my interview, leaving one of my forms back at home. Everything has been a mess. Of course, this is one of those glass is half-full or half-empty situations. You can either think of it as unlucky, or you can think of it as my luck since I've somehow managed through every stage of this process.

But my intuition tells me, that I shouldn't do TFA. Of course, I might not even get in...I don't find out for a month, but I have a bad feeling about it. And whether the bad feeling is right or not, it's wrong to go into something with a bad feeling in your heart, am I right?

But the interview process was great. The people were great and it really gave me an idea of how to interview. It allowed me to shape up my resume, improve my skills for phone and live interviews, and to think outside the box. I wouldn't have given up this experience for the world. :)

Friday I had a test. I totally bombed it. But it's ok, because I did really well on the first test, and you get to drop a test in that class. But I need to start shaping up, or these last 70 days of school are going to be HELL!

So what did we do last night...I started off by going to 5801 with Mark and Ben. I love these guys. Mark drives me everywhere so I owe him a gazillion dollars for gas mileage. And Ben is the life of the party.

Last night, Andy, one of Mark's friends, ate a cherry out of Ben's tracheotomy scars from his car crash. I wanted to just put my head down in my lap and laugh...or cry...a little bit of both. I always find myself in such ridiculous situations.

And then we went out to say Goodbye to Winny. Which is where the story becomes sad.

Winny is one of my closest friends in Pittsburgh. I owe her so much, I can't even begin to describe how much she's done for me. I remember when I first came to Pittsburgh, Maneesha took me to go to a party at Alan's place. This was my first Asian party. And it was at Asian central.


What is Asian Central? Two houses on Atwood street that shared a common basement (because they tore down the wall between them...believe me the Landlord was NOT happy when he found out).. I was so excited...my first Pitt party. And I met this girl that I recognized from some CASA meetings. I said "HEY WINNY!"

and she had no idea what my name was. OK so she managed to hide the fact at the time. She told me about it after we became friends.

And what have we been through?

-Me getting drunk and her searching everywhere for me and finding me wandering across a random bridge.
-Going with her back to NYC and meeting her family and her mom asking if I eat anything.
-Various phone calls I've made to her from home about how my father was about to kill me for taking a year off after I graduate.

I love this girl. And she will be sorely missed. Pittsburgh just won't be the same without her.

But anyway we went out last night from 5801 to the place in Squirrel Hill. I'm still not positive of the name of the place that we were at. But I got in somehow, even though I tried getting into a furniture store that was next door. Excellent. I am proud of that.

We only stayed a little bit there...afterward we went to Winny's for the last game night (perhaps forever...she was the only one who took initiative to coordinate such nights)...we tried playing Jenga. Each of us had very special moments. Like the time that Pan knocked it over without even trying for a block. Or when I cheated by catching the tower (twice mind you) and stabilizing it...And then Winny said that she was tired and wanted to go to bed. But we were all set on making sure that Winny didn't leave today for NYC so we got into bed with her and started singing...ok no, screaming...the Colors of the Wind.

Song and I attempted to imitate this particular rendition of Colors of the Wind. Yes a Drag Queen.

Click Link to watch the youtube video of:
Drag Colors of the Wind

Hahahhahahahahahah...

Pan considered unpacking all of her suitcases. But we ended up just stealing her keys. So winny is leaving on SUnday!!! Hahhaha I love it!

Last thing I want to say: I apologize to anyone that I've been slightly irritable with. Since this past Tuesday, I've realized the amount of work that I need to accomplish before I graduate...let alone the work I need to finish before I leave for Tampa this Summer.

I was thinking about something recently about why things happen the way they do. And I was inspired by a line from a Tamil movie...which is funny, because there are very few things that are said in Tamil movies that are really inspiring. This guy says that some things in life it takes awhile before you realize the meaning behind them. And he finally realizes why he had to go to the army, lose his leg, and work at a flower shop...

I try and think that maybe everything does have meaning...I guess some people might find that ridiculous...like trying to find Serendipity where there is none. But I guess if you don't believe life has meaning, then it kinda just sucks the sunshine out of it. It kinda helps us through the hard times.

Speaking of Hard times...my hair is going through some new Hard Times. Let us consider the stages that my Hair has gone through in the past couple of years.

Freshman Year: The "West Side Story" hair style


Yes. Gel galore. Do you know how much junk it takes to make the hair in front defy gravity? LOTS.

Sophomore Year: OOOO Color!

So while I was at Temple Sophomore year, I saw this guy who had semi longish hair with highlights. I was so impressed. As you can see...Temple isn't always spiritual...sometimes it's merely inspirational.

So we go out to CVS and buy highlights for my hair. The choice of color? Bleach blonde. Why? because my hair is pitch black. Anyone who tells me that Hair is just various shades of brown and red needs to look at my roots...they're black. Black. BUH-LACK!

So the bleach blonde would be the only thing that might even add any color to my hair. I decided to get the help of my friends. And what did they do? They put a straight streak down the middle of my hair. Like a Skunk. Never ever trust non-professional people with your hair.

Junior Year: Jesus

Yeah striking resemblance right? It's kinda freaky that I was this hairy at one point. My father threatened to attack me in my sleep with a pair of scissors and a razor...I should have let him. I look just like Jesus. Needless to say, this was a bit of a slow point in my dating career.

Right before Senior Year: THE BEAST!This is the closest picture I have to being decent...and Why? Because it's tiny. I call it the beast...because notice how my hair is leaning towards Kanika...it's about to eat her. Dave was terrified...look at how nervous he looks to be standing behind me. And my Hair...damn it I wish I had my father's hair. My hair only grows down for an inch...after that it does a 180 and starts going up towards the sky. My hair is seriously curly...and you'd never know if you look at me now. Because I do NOT let it get that long anymore.

Super Senior: Finally a decent look.

And this is what I'm going back to today. I tried getting a haircut yesterday, but then that was cancelled when they told me that it would be a two hour wait. It may cause me to freeze up here...but it'll be perfect for Tampa...

P.S. Song and Pan are crazy...they were sneaking out my door...and when I was planning on going to schedule a hair appointment with Supercuts...I screamed into the phone. That poor lady.

Day VII (Part 1)

I was reminded this morning when I got up of a particular incident in Montreal this past Spring Break.

Eleanor was insisting on going to see the botanical gardens. Mind you. We had just trekked through a city where the snow was piled up practically over your heads on either side of the sidewalk. The ice was so bad that I had a complete wipe out in the middle of downtown (while all the French Canadians pranced around in High heels without even wincing at the ice).

So obviously we were going to rag on her for that.

I pulled out my best French Accent and mimicked a tour guide in the Botanical Gardens.

"On your right here, you have the Tree of Canada. Theesss here was thee most beautiful tree in all of Canada. But now? Now...it is dead. NEXTTTT!"

So from there on out, every time we passed a withered tree, bare from the Canadian winter, we were like "OO OO Eleanor! Here is the most beautiful tree in Canada. But now it is dead!"

We beat the joke to death. And by we, I meant I.

Day VI

So, Day VI of this blog. And specifically 75 days until I graduate. Wow. That's weird to think. In 75 days I will (finally) possess two baccalaureate degrees. Which will get me up to the earning levels of....just above minimum wage? LOL. Perhaps. I got an email yesterday from the guy who works at the office that I might be a Dental Assistant next year and he said that the boss is crazy and that he doesn't always transfer money into his account on time and two of his rents checks had bounced.

So what does that mean for me? Cutting Tampa plans? Consider that Job Offer in Vancouver with my Uncle? Become a "Canadanese 'eh'er?" Think again. For those who know of the great plans of Dorothy and co. last spring break where they though that going to Montreal in March would be a great idea, you know that I would never make a mistake like that. Move to some place where there's 10 feet of snow during Spring Break.

A question btw. Which dumb ass birds decided to go up North for Winter? Rashed, Eleanor, Esha, Dorothy, and I.

And what's left? LA?
No I don't like Minimum Wage...and I'm not ready to move to some place so crowded yet (small steps! Baby Steps!)

So Tampa remains. Which means throwing my Resume at so many places in the next couple of months that my name will be plastered on the front page of The Tampa Tribune with my face and the headlines "Will someone hire this fool????"

And today's test? Pretty excellent. We're preparing for my one and only group presentation that I ever have to do in College. And we're doing it on Hindu Rituals. And guess what ritual my partners thought would be a great idea? We're getting a stuffed animal and we're ritually sacrificing it. Sighhh...I shouldn't have told them about Joe's idea. Actually I'm partially amused by the idea, and partially horrified that everyone thought it was soooo good. LOL. But hey, we've decided the topic, so we might as well go through with it, right?

I had to remind them though that I'm planning on progressing to pure vegetarianism in a couple years and that most people in my family don't do this practice. Like my mom and my stepmom's families. However, my dad's family? Now that's a totally different story.

I always thought it was amusing how different my mother's and my father's families were from each other. There are old black-and-white pictures of them all. My mom's side of the family consisted of women with silk saris, blouses, men with pants and dress shirts. They stood there smiling with arms around each other. And then there was my Dad's family. With the men in dhothis (white serongs), women wearing bleached white cotton saris without any blouses. They stood there with these serious expressions like something out of history books. All this in one pictures. What a Drama! How I would have loved to be standing there and have my one grandfather asking me to smile for the picture while the other sternly shakes his head no.

OK more tomorrow...I need to go home, clean, and get ready for my TFA Interview! Wish me luck (although...does it even matter anymore?)